The Bitch List

Sportkini Swimsuit

The BITCH List

After you have been in locker rooms listening to women bitch about their swimsuits your whole life, you realize that there is a legitimate list of things women loathe about poorly constructed and non-functioning swimwear.

I started to take notes after I realized I am not the only one who has this “LIST”.

My other athletic friends, training partners and competitors were all BITCHING about their dissatisfaction with their suits. After all, these suits were like equipment to us, and faulty equipment was unacceptable. It was SO worth it to me to jot it all down.

I have take the liberty to share this list today. I hope you enjoy it and I am sure you can relate.

Things women hate about swimwear (aka The Bitch List):

  • swimwear that starts to disintegrate and become see-thru
  • swimwear that may fit well for just a couple wears but loses its shape quickly
  • flimsy straps that are meant to hold a top up, but don’t
  • ill-fitting tops around the breasts that need constant adjusting and don’t do their job
  • shoddy sewn-on bottoms that shimmy and cause worry; Where are they? In places they don’t belong?
  • high-maintenance swimwear …. treat it like a doily? Special washing instructions? nope.
  • too much stuff in the suit … underwire pokes, sponge-like pads, plastic or metal sliders/claps that break and come undone
  • heavy fabric that takes a long time to dry and is very uncomfortable
  • linings that shift under the outside of the suit and cause bunching -- an ugly look for sure
  • standard swimsuit linings that are also made of cheaper fabric that disintegrates and leaves white flecks on your skin -- ew
  • any suit that requires a tie is sure to cause grief; they come undone or have to be tied so tight they hurt; ties create chafe -- a unified nope for women who train/compete in water sports
  • suits that don’t fit right, don’t flatter, and don't function … we always have to worry if they are going to shift or even fall off -- which means, our mind is taken off our game -- no tolerance for that!
  • when a suit fades in chlorine pools or hot tubs
  • athletic swimsuit styles that just look like unflattering sports bras

Ultimately, this list is the most valuable list in my office. Why you might ask?

Because all of our suits go through this rigorous list to be sure they pass the BITCH LIST inspection.

It LITERALLY is our criteria list.

Each top, bottom, and one piece swimsuit we make has to be the BEST or else I won’t put my name on it.

I know you can buy cheap suits, I know you will also get what you pay for.

To me, it is SO important to make HIGHER QUALITY swimwear (not throw away fashion) so that you have a durable, perfectly fitted, functioning and very pretty swimsuit.

This is my promise to you.


Swimsuit Engineer
Product Innovator

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